


The Swapper

by AlexaNDYE



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bodyswap, F/M, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-23 02:01:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2529893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexaNDYE/pseuds/AlexaNDYE
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pepper and Tony are in quite a predicament when they find themselves in each other's body.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Swapper

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHOEBE(EFFIESTRINKETS)! This is for effiestrinkets' 21st Birthday. I'm sorry it's a little late, but I hope you like it!
> 
> Also... I want to say this is a crack-fic, but I really don't know. Be warned-- there are some weird things going on in this fic.

Tony narrowed his eyes at her once they stopped walking around the lab. “Are you angry at me?”

Pepper let out an exasperated groan. “Why the fuck do you think I’ve been yelling at you for the past five minutes—for shits and giggles?!”

He held up his hands in defense. “Okay, Honey, I can sense that you’re angry, and I don’t exactly know why you’re angry, but I think I have a good idea.”

“Go on.” She stared at him with hate oozing out of her eyeballs. “Guess.”

He immediately felt the pressure on his shoulders, and the look of pure hatred and murder in her eyes didn’t help his cause. “I missed something… important.”

“Keep going.” She gestured with her hand.

“And I promised I would be there.” He guessed.

“Getting warmer.” She practically shouted.

“A Gala—no a charity—did I miss our wedding?” Tony asked playfully and narrowed his eyes. He nearly backed away as fast as he could when he saw her eyes turn into a darker shade of blue—he wouldn’t be surprised if her eyes turned red and her head started spinning.

“It was dinner, Tony.” She growled and advanced towards him. When she balled her fists, he really thought she was going to tear him limb from limb.

“Oh…” Tony paused. “Oh, I mean—Pepper, c’mon. It was just dinner. We can always reschedule.” He backed up against what he thought was a wall, but his hand hit something. A small suction sound gave off, but neither one of them thought anything of it.

“It was a god damn Board of Directors dinner, Tony! You were supposed to ‘unveil’ your blueprints and schematics and introduce the next generation of robotics!”

Tony winced at her shouting. “Uh… what was it for again?”

Pepper was _very_ close to throwing her shoes at him. “It was for the self-sustaining and energy efficient jets, Tony.”

He felt his head bump into the contraption behind him when she advanced towards him once more. “Like I said, we can reschedule.” He ignored the machines’ internal workings that began to whirr behind him.

Her nostrils flared, and he swallowed hard. It was obviously not the right thing to say to her. “Do you know foolish I looked after thirty minutes of waiting for your sorry ass!?”

“Um, I’m going to guess very, very foolish.”

“Or how I came up empty handed, and had to apologize to each and every board member? Or how embarrassing it was to hear one of them ask me if we were still together, because I obviously can’t keep you in check?” She was pissed—pissed beyond belief.

“What?” Tony frowned. “That’s terrible. What’s his name? I’ll fire him.” At that point, Pepper was already planning to slip her foot out of her shoe and hit him with it, but Tony saw something different. “You know, you’re really hot when you’re angry. You’ll hit me if I kiss you, right? C’mon, it wouldn’t be the first time we’ve had hot, angry, steaming make-up sex.”

The machine behind him whirred to life—it almost sounded like it was running faster than it was supposed to. Blue lights began to flash along the sides and smoke started to puff out of the top. The contraption looked like it was scrapped together, piece by piece, and rolled off to the side like a failure. It had a large and wide cylinder-like shape with the top rounded off.

At the last second, when the sounds of whirring peaked, Tony furrowed his eyebrows. Pepper and Tony both blinked, and in that half a second, it was like they were looking in a mirror.

Pepper blinked again and took a step back. “Tony, why can I see myself?” She furrowed her eyebrows. “Why do I sound like you…?”

“Oh shit.” Tony gasped; both of them heard a Pepper-like voice, and at the same time, their eyes widened. “It worked… Why did it work?” He came up to the machine behind Pepper and inspected it. He pressed the button again, but the machine only puffed out more smoke, and suddenly, the wires sticking out of the contraption sparked.

“Tony…” Pepper warned him angrily, staring at herself.

“Pepper, don’t worry, okay.” He looked at the contraption with wonder and befuddlement. “I can fix this—I think…”

“You think!? Tony, I’m in your body! What the fuck is going on!?” She shouted.

“Holy crap.” He turned to face Pepper—or rather, himself. “I _do_ sound hot when I swear.”

“Tony…” She grounded out angrily.

“Okay, okay.” He tried to calm her down. “Well, this machine was built to do what it just did to us: swap our bodies. It was designed for the sole purpose of the Avengers. And before you start accusing me of using it to prank people, you’re half right and half wrong. I was going to use it so when there was some sort of altercation between the Avengers and some other species, or life form – example, Loki – we’d be able to swap bodies and infiltrate, blah, blah, blah. It sounded a lot cooler when I pitched the idea to Fury and the others.” He sighed and scratched his head. He stopped midway when he finally realized that he was in Pepper’s body. He let the light orange colored hair flow between his fingers and then looked down at his body. “Holy shit, I’m you.”

“Yeah, Tony. You are.” She sounded impatient. “Do what you did to start it to reverse the effects.”

“Uh…” He admired the perkiness of Pepper’s boobs before turning to her—or rather, him. “…slight problem—well, _problems_. One, the machine is on the fritz, and two, I haven’t thought that far ahead to… swap people back.”

“What!?” She yelled, and he winced.

“But don’t worry, okay, Honey? I’ve got this all under control.” He tried to tell her, but the boobs on her body kept distracting him. “Wow,” he pushed them up a bit. “These are amazing.” He began to giggle. “I can see you naked now—“ His eyes suddenly widened. “—I can masturbate as you!”

“Tony, focus on fixing this.” She replied sternly.

He gave her a lopsided smile. “Oh, c’mon, Pepper. I know you want to take off all my clothes and stare at my beautiful, muscular, naked body.” He smirked. “Sex is going to be so weird—it’ll be like I’m having sex with myself… Well, wouldn’t be the first time.”

“I have three meetings today, all of which are important and business related. When I walk in that room, they’re all going to think I’m you.” She explained to him in frustration. “And unless you want to go in my place, please, by all means. Go right ahead.” She sounded annoyed.

“Okay, okay.” He tried to calm her down. “Point made. Just give me a minute to figure something out.” He walked over to his desk and tapped on the schematics to the machine. “It’s weird, because this machine was scrapped. Bruce and I tested it several times, but nothing happened.” He studied the prints and hummed to himself. “JARVIS, any ideas on what happened?”

There was silence, and Tony furrowed his eyebrows. “JARVIS?”

“Miss Potts. What a lovely day it is. Would you like me to remind Mr. Stark to eat?” The AI replied.

“What—JARVIS, I’m Tony.” He said, but it came out to sound like Pepper.

“I’m afraid I do not understand.”

Tony smacked his head with his head; Pepper furrowed her eyebrows and decided to try.

“Uh, JARVIS? Do you have any idea what just happened?” She asked, and there was a pause.

“I do not.”

“Well, that’s great.” Tony frowned.

Pepper glanced at her watch. “Tony, I have a meeting in thirty minutes.”

“Okay, um…” He scratched his head. “You go to the meeting—just explain that I’m taking over, or something, and I’ll stay here and hopefully figure this thing out. No promises though.”

“I won’t be back until 8PM. I still have a lot of work to do in the office.” She tried to tell him, and he just waved her off.

“Lie, Pep. Lie like your life depends on it. Tell them Pepper Potts is sick, or busy with… uh… being pregnant. I don’t know.” Tony found it quite difficult to kneel in a skirt, but he did it, albeit a bit clumsily.

Pepper rolled her eyes and stepped out of the lab, but on her way to the elevators, she spotted Bruce.

“Hey, Tony.” Bruce greeted. “Going somewhere? I thought we were going to work on the Photon Canon.”

“Um… yeah. I’m just—I’m going to a meeting.” Pepper didn’t know what to say. “Uh, bye!” She shuffled towards the elevator as fast as possible, and smacked the close button with an open palm.

Bruce furrowed his eyebrows and shrugged. When he entered the lab, he saw Pepper kneeling in front of the scrapped machine—and the scrapped machine was now sparking and fuming with smoke. “Okay, this is weird.” He muttered to himself.

“Oh, Bruce.” Tony said; he fell over on his side when he tried to get up. “Damn skirts.” He mumbled as he pushed himself up. “Finally you’re here. You’ll never guess what happened.”

“Uh… did you say something to Tony?”

“What?”

Bruce gestured to the elevators. “I just saw Tony and he said he was going to a meeting. I’ve never heard him say that before.”

“Bruce.” Tony put his hands on Bruce’s shoulders, and saw the blush blossom across his face. “I’m Tony.”

“What?” Bruce blinked a few times.

“Yeah. That machine we scrapped last week? It worked.”

Bruce’s eyes widened. “The swapper?”

Tony nodded and nearly tripped when he tried to fast walk over to his desk. He slipped off his heels and kicked them underneath the table. “Yup.”

“That… That doesn’t make any sense.” Bruce hummed and crossed his arms over his chest. “We tested it multiple times and each time, it didn’t work.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m confused about. Why would it work now when it didn’t work before? I’m guessing a variable changed and we didn’t know it.”

“Okay… what kind of variable?”

“No idea. That’s what I’m trying to find out.” When Tony looked up, he caught Bruce staring. “Why are you staring?” Tony furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you staring at my girlfriend’s boobs?”

“What? No, I’m—“ Bruce’s face began to turn red.

“—Don’t make me throw my shoes at you.” He warned him. “Wow, sounded amazing. No wonder why Pepper always says that.” Bruce rolled his eyes and followed Tony to the machine.

\--

“Excuse me,” Pepper walked through the halls. It was quite obvious that everyone was staring at her. Why wouldn’t they? Tony Stark never walks through the halls of Stark Industries unless it was to bother her, or go to her office. Manila folders and stapled stacks of paper filled her arms, and once she cross the threshold of the conference room, all eyes were on her.

Business men and women all stared at her with befuddlement, and she simply smiled.

“Hello, everyone.” She said. “Um, Miss Potts won’t be able to make it today, and asked me to fill in for her. I hope that isn’t a problem.”

Everyone blinked. No one had heard Tony say such kind, soft words before.

“Good.” Pepper smiled. “Let’s continue with the meeting.”

After the first meeting finished somewhat awkwardly and weirdly, Pepper walked back to her office. She was stopped by Kelly, her secretary, and was told that Pepper wasn’t in. Pepper, of course, told her that she need to grab some things from the office. Kelly gave her a funny look the entire time, probably due to the fact that Tony Stark is never at Stark Industries when Pepper isn’t.

After the second meeting, she found herself in her office again. She looked in the mirror various times and saw her boyfriend—her handsome, cute, adorable boyfriend. She sighed and groaned; she hoped that a miracle happened and Tony had already fixed the machine.

Stress washed over her; stress from the meetings, the failed Board of Director’s dinner, and the body swap. Everything was caving on her in one fell swoop, and she let out a heavy, worn out, sigh. The only thing she was looking forward to was sleep, or maybe a long bath.

Without warning, she squeaked. There was an unknown tight feeling in her pants, and when she looked down, she nearly panicked. The crotch of her pants bulged, and her legs spread almost automatically.

“Seriously?” Pepper groaned loudly. She cursed under her breath and brought her head back; she leaned back into her chair and mumbled something incoherent. Should she call Tony? Should she just wait until it subsides? Every single thought in her head leaned towards jerking off, but she couldn’t do that… not in her office. What if someone caught her? That would look terrible—for Tony, at least. She rolled her eyes at the thought of Tony jerking off in her office. She’s caught him jerking off in weird places and at weird times. It wouldn’t count as something new if she jerked off right at that moment.

With a long sigh, she brought her hand down to her crotch. She rubbed the bulge with her palm and closed her eyes. She groaned at the pleasurable feeling and continued to rub herself. She increased the pace after a few seconds, and drew in a sharp breath when she felt a spike of pleasure rip through her spine.

She lifted her crotch a bit and rocked into her hand, trying hard not to let out a moan. She needed more—she needed so much more. She brought her hands down to the belt and unbuckled it with haste. She nearly groaned out loud when she tore the zipper down; the feeling of her erection being released from its prison sent chills down her spine.

She shimmied out of her pants while she was still seated in her office chair and let it rest at her thighs. She let an undeniable moan slip through her lips when she began to palm herself through her boxers. There were a lot of things she wanted to feel by herself, or by some miracle, and this was one of those things. She wanted to know what it felt like to have a penis and jerk it off – she wanted to feel what Tony was feeling.

Her cock hardened against her palm within seconds, and she could feel pre-come smear along the spot below her stomach. With a ragged and shaky breath, she slipped her hands past her boxers and stroked the length. She moaned into her hand and whimpered. The feeling was so good and pleasurable, she didn’t want to stop – she couldn’t stop.

She shoved the waistband down to reveal the hardened and straining member. She looked down at it with such wonder and excitement; she couldn’t take her eyes off it. She brought her thumb over the slit and whimpered when she wiped at the beading pre-come that formed. She palmed the head and then switched to the shaft, wrapping her calloused fingers around the hardened flesh and pumping it with a slow, agonizing pace.

“Holy shit…” she muttered; it felt like she was caught in a daze of pleasure and fogged with the idea of coming.

Her cock twitched as she tightened her grip, and after a couple more pumps, she reached inside of her desk drawer and squirted a couple pumps of lotion into her hand. She spread the lotion between her hands and went back to stroking; she started slow and rough, and then transitioned into fast and rough. She didn’t even notice how desperate she was to come until she found herself bucking into her hand.

She didn’t stop—she couldn’t stop. God, it felt so good. The sounds of skin slipping against skin echoed somewhat in her room, and then came a spike of pleasure. Her back arched and her hips bucked again, but it wasn’t her orgasm. It was just another intense wave of pleasure, and she could tell she was going to go crazy. She gasped and then let out a dry cry when she gave the final push into her tight grip.

White hot strips of come splattered onto the underside of her desk and onto her lap. She moaned with each spurt, and after she came down from her high, she sat there, transfixed and somewhat ashamed. Her orgasm felt so intense and good, she wanted to go again, but she knew, thanks to Tony, that she couldn’t go again, or at least, not for another twenty or thirty minutes.

“Damn…” She muttered as she surveyed the white strips that littered the space in front of her.

\--

“Pepper,” Tony said, walking into the bedroom.

“Hm?” Pepper asked with her blackberry in her hands.

“You’re probably expecting good news.” He scratched the back of his head—or rather, her head.

She sighed. “I don’t know. I’m expecting for everything to be fixed, but I… I guess I can’t expect that from you.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “I can’t tell if that was an insult, or not.”

She smiled. “It wasn’t.”

He sighed, walked over to the bed, and laid down beside her. “Bruce and I are working on it.”

“Oh, I passed Bruce in the—“

“I know. He told me.” Tony began to laugh. “You should’ve seen his face when I told him I was you.”

“You should’ve seen the faces of everyone in Stark Industries when I walked through the halls.” She smirked.

“Hey, I go to Stark Industries… maybe not as frequent as you do, but I do.” He frowned.

“No. You only go to Stark Industries to bug me, or sweep me off my feet, both of which don’t work 80% of the time.” She corrected him.

“80% is good.”

“It’s a lot better than 12%.” She muttered and he just stared at her.

“Are you seriously going back to that?” He sounded annoyed.

“Yes, and I will do so until I’m dead. Seriously, 12%? Who says that?” She made fun of him.

“I do—and I said an argument could’ve been made for 15%.” He pouted and frowned. Tony did a double take at Pepper and sat up to look her in the eyes. She furrowed her eyebrows at him and watched him stare at her.

“Can I help you?”

He began to smirk. “You jerked off.”

“What?” Pepper gasped. _How does he know?_

“Pepper, you’re me. I know when I’ve jerked off. I can smell it—and I can tell by your eyes. You totally jerked off—so, where was it? In the bathroom? Did you jerk off to a porn magazine? Did you record it? Oh god, please tell me you recorded it. I want to watch it.” He spoke hastily and with excitement.

“Tony, stop.” He continued to stare at her, and within a few seconds, she sighed. “It was in my office.” She began to admit. His eyes lit up and his ears twitched.

“In your office?” He growled. “You naughty girl.”

“I was stressed and very conflicted. One thing happened after the other… and I just…” She shrugged. “…It just happened, okay?”

Tony groaned. “God, that’s so hot. Did it feel good? I know it did. I can just imagine you, jerking off on your chair – legs spread and cock in your hands—“ he stopped abruptly. “Holy shit, I’m imaging myself jerking off.”

“Which is a normal occurrence for you.” She quipped, and he stared. “I know about your _collection_ , and I’ve caught you multiple times, jerking off to your own porn.”

“Wait, what?” Tony raised an eyebrow at her. “When the fuck was that?”

“About two months after Miss March stopped by.” She replied.

Tony shook his head and waved his hand. “Okay, regardless of all that—I think you owe me.”

“For what?” Pepper gasped.

“For jerking me off—or you off—or is it me?” He paused to think about his wording. “Point is, I get a freebie.”

“I don’t understand what you’re asking for.”

“You masturbated, and now I get to.” His lips formed a sly smile.

“Tony, that doesn’t—it was in the heat of the moment and it just _happened_.” She tried to tell him, but he wasn’t listening. He was already taking off his skirt and stockings. “What are you—Stop undressing me.”

“Hey, you saw my penis, so I get to see your boobies.” He retorted.

She rolled her eyes. “If you’re going to masturbate, could you at least do it in the bathroom or in the shower?”

“What? You don’t want to watch yourself come?”

“No. I don’t.”

“Oh, Pepper.” He smirked. “Don’t be such a prude.” He began to unbutton his blouse; Pepper watched as he slipped the blouse off his shoulders and tugged his ponytail undone. The light orange hair flowed down and cascaded on her shoulders. He tossed the blouse off to the side, and stood in the middle of their bedroom in just a bra and panties, both of which were red and lacy.

He looked down at his body and began to play with his boobs, massaging the mounds in small circles. “Wow, this is nice.”

“Tony—“ She couldn’t tell if she felt uncomfortable, or aroused.

“C’mon, Pepper. Live a little. It’s not every day you’re swapping bodies with your boyfriend.” He muttered with a smirk. She sighed and placed her phone on the nightstand. “Atta girl.” He began to rub his palm against the front of his crotch; he could already feel the juices seep into the fabric of his panties. “Now, show me how you jerked off.”

“Actually, why don’t you just give me a private show?” Pepper smiled widely.

He massaged and grabbed his boob with one hand, and grinded against the other. “Oh, god, Pepper. Holy shit, is this really what it feels like when we have foreplay?” He asked with gasp.

Pepper smirked, because he had the same reaction as she did. It was weird and remarkable how good it felt to masturbate in the opposite sex.

Tony began to pant. “Where is the—“

“In the closet. Second drawer to the left.” She responded with her arms crossed against her chest as she was thoroughly enjoying the show. Tony left to go to the closet for a second, and when he came back, he had a vibrator in hand. He’s used it on Pepper before, and the first time they used it, he was entranced by how well it worked. It made her pant, chant his name, grind hard and fast, and writhe uncontrollably.

The vibrator was shaped like a penis, but in a hotrod red color—you could tell who picked it out by the looks of it. Tony half joked to Pepper, saying that they should just make a mold of his penis and turn it into a vibrator, and then he went on and on about going into the adult toys industry, which was, of course, something that Pepper rolled her eyes at.

The thought of sharing her boyfriend’s penis with the world didn’t sit well with her. She didn’t want to walk around the city, the mall, or anywhere else, and be around people that knew the exact girth and length of Tony’s penis—and oh god, PR would have a field day with that one.

She also didn’t want to see the Stark Industries logo on adult toys. She would be fairly certain Tony’s father would come back from the dead and kill Tony in his sleep.

Tony reached into their nightstand and brought out a bottle of lube. She knew her body more than anybody, even Tony, and she knew that look in his eyes; the hungry, horny, and uncontrollable look of insatiable thirst to get off. She knew it all too well, and she knew exactly what would come next.

“Oh god, Baby.” Tony moaned, rubbing the lube along the shaft of the vibrator. “Please tell me this is the best thing you’ve ever experienced.”

“What, the vibrator or watching myself get off?” Pepper asked sassily.

“The vibrator—“ Tony paused for a second. “—Maybe both.”

“You tell me, Tony.” Pepper smirked, crossing her ankles as she lay in bed. She gestured for him to continue and he merely smirked.

Tony slipped his panties off and climbed on top of the bed. He began to rub his palm against the front of his crotch again, and then groaned loudly when he massaged the clit. He dangerously slipped his hand against his folds and parted his lips when a jolt of pleasure ran up his spine.

“How does it feel?” Pepper asked, watching him—or rather, herself—masturbate.

“God, it feels amazing.” Tony replied; he was too clouded with pleasure to stop.

He could feel the juices start to pool between the folds, and with a light moan, he dipped his finger in. He skimmed the sides, exploring and checking; he made a mental list of what felt good and what didn’t. And this went on for about a minute. Pepper saw his eyes screw shut when he finally dipped a finger in. He slowly thrust it in and out, curling and uncurling. He began to grind against his own hand, and with a gasp, he added another finger.

“Fuck, Pepper.” He growled lowly. “Is this how it feels when we have sex?”

“Oh, the sex is much better.” She replies. “Especially when you let me ride you.”

“Let me ride you.” Tony muttered, opening his eyes and hungrily staring at her.

“No.” She shot him down. “I jerked off. You get to masturbate. It’s an equal deal. Nothing more.”

He brought his head back. “Spoilsport.” He muttered.

He thrust the two fingers in and out of himself, and pressed a thumb against his clit, massaging it in circles. His breath hitched when his fingers hit his G-spot, and it only made him hungrier. He grinded faster against his hand until he realized it wouldn’t get him off fast enough.

Pepper watched him turn on the vibrator, and it buzzed lowly and softly. He almost seemed impressed by its quietness, yet it made her scream and whimper not too long ago, but he was the one that picked it out. His taste in adult toys was that great.

He slowly brought the vibrator down to his clit and moaned loudly, and then he let it rest between the folds, dipping in slightly, but not too much. He couldn’t describe the pleasure he was feeling; he wanted to finish it already and thrust it in and out of himself, but he had to take it slow if he wanted to savor every second.

Pepper watched him grind against the shaft of the dildo, mewling each time it massaged his clit. He slid it up and down the folds, and gyrated. He was hungry for more pleasure, and the only way to satiate his appetite was to continue. He slipped the tip of the buzzing vibrator between the folds and pushed up, letting it sit there, but not dip any further. He moaned loudly again as he let the tip rub up against the entrance to his hot, wet, dripping core.

After a few seconds, it was all too much for him. He plunged the vibrator further and further into his sopping wetness, and moaned and cursed when he felt the vibrations hit his sweet spot. Slowly, he pushed and pulled on the vibrator, letting the pace draw out as much as he would allow it to, but that pace didn’t last long.

The vibrations rubbed against his walls, massaging it, milking it, and coaxing him to come undone. Pepper could tell he was close to coming, and just hearing the moans slip past his lips made her smirk. He continued to ride and grind against the vibrator, and with a rough, but fast, push and pull of the toy, he came.

He stilled and shook, and cried out with a loud moan. Everything went white for him, and for a second, he couldn’t remember who he was, or what he was doing. The pleasure that shot up his spine, pooled at his groin, and released was all he cared about—it was all that he wanted. As the waves of his powerful orgasm crashed against him, he grinded against the vibrator and hoped it would help ride everything out.

With a satiable hum and a low growl, he stopped. He slipped out the vibrator and collapsed onto the bed, unsure of what he just experienced. He crawled over to Pepper and let his head hit her lap.

“Feeling better?” Pepper asked with a wide grin.

He nodded. “Yeah.” He was still trying to catch his breath. “Damn…” He muttered. “Can we stay like this?”

“No.” Pepper spat. “We are fixing this ASAP, Tony. I can’t be stuck as you for the rest of my life.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being mean, or sane.” He looked up at her.

“Let’s go with both.”

Tony looked down at his breasts and smirked. “Have I ever told you how much I love your boobs?”

“Yes, many times.” She smirked.

“Oh god.” Tony suddenly frowned. “What’s that painful feeling…” He rubbed the spot below his stomach and groaned. “What the hell is that?” He huddled into the fetal position and whined. It felt like his insides were going to slowly inflate and explode into confetti. It was a pressurized feeling that slowly, and surely, tortured him.

“Oh right, I’m supposed to get my period.” Pepper suddenly remembered.

“What?” Tony frowned. “Right now?” As the feeling of wanting to cry intensified, he made a mental note and vowed to get all of the chocolate Pepper wanted.

“It was supposed to be sometime this week. The cramps will last for another couple hours, and then you’ll have to put a tampon in.” She told him. “Tampons are in the bathroom. Last drawer on my side.”

Tony mumbled something incoherent and curled up to her. “Okay. Besides the monthly thing… I could survive being a woman.”

“If I had a penny for every single woman in the world that thought the same thing…” Pepper smirked, and dropped her hand on his head to play with his hair. He purred lowly and leaned into her hand, relaxing against her.

\--

“I think I got it.” Bruce announced in the lab while Pepper and Tony stood behind him.

“Are you sure?” Tony asked.

“Yes, Pepper—uh.” Bruce scratched his head and apologized. “Sorry, I mean—Tony. And yes, I think I figured out what the problem was—although, it’s hard to explain.”

“Could you explain it after we test thing out?” Tony asked.

“Um… yes and no?” Bruce hummed. “I don’t want to risk this, and if this doesn’t work and something goes wrong… well, that would be—“

“—bad.” Pepper finished.

“Depending on the situation, yes. Most likely.” Bruce nodded, and patted the machine with a small smile. “Ready?”

Pepper winced. “Not really…”

“Pepper, I trust Bruce. If he says he fixed it, then he did.”

“Uh…” Bruce watched Tony walk towards the machine. “…I didn’t say I _fixed_ it. I said I _think_ I fixed it.”

“Which is good enough for me.” Tony said, hovering over the touchpad. “C’mere, Pep.” He cooed, gesturing for her to join him. “Bruce, you might want to take a step back. I don’t know if this thing knows who to switch.”

“It’ll swap the closest pair to the machine.” Bruce explained. “But just in case… I’ll be outside.” He hurriedly walked towards the sliding doors and peered into the lab from afar.

Tony sighed and looked at Pepper. “Ready?”

She winced. “Yeah, just do it. If something goes wrong… just know that I love you.”

He smiled widely and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I love you, too, Honey. And I’m sorry for missing that Board of Directors dinner.”

She returned a fake smile and replied, “Oh, _Babe_ , you’re still not off the hook for that.”

Tony flashed a shit eating grin. “Okay. Let’s do this quick, because these cramps are not fun.” He pressed the start button without warning, and the machine came to life. It began to warm up, whirring slowly and then gradually uncontrollably, and then its LED lights flashed on and off.  Smoke puffed from the top, and as the machine got louder and louder, Pepper reached for Tony’s hand. She squeezed his hand tightly and closed her eyes, preparing herself for the worst.

After a few more seconds, the machine began to slow down, and the whirs of mechanical internal workings softened. At that moment, Pepper opened her eyes, and in front of her, she saw Tony—Tony’s body, not her own.

She smiled widely and squealed. “Oh my god, it worked! Tony—“ She noticed the frown on Tony’s face. “Tony?” Worry washed over her as she feared the worst had happened to him—whatever the ‘worst’ may be. She squeezed his hand, and he only stared at her. “Honey?”

“Um… Pep.” She heard the voice behind her—it was Bruce. “That’s… Bruce.”

Bruce – in Tony’s body – looked up at Pepper with a small frown. And Tony – in Bruce’s body – sighed and scratched the back of his head. “And you said you fixed it.” Tony shook his head.

“I said I _thought_ I fixed it!” Bruce groaned loudly.


End file.
